Dear Reader,

I was talking with a leader recently who’s navigating some challenging circumstances in her personal life.

Her manager knows what’s going on. Her team knows what’s going on. Everyone has been incredibly supportive, encouraging her to take the time and space she needs.

Well, everyone except for one person: herself.

Despite having full support, she’s struggling with the idea of not giving 110% at work.

So I asked her, “What if someone on your team were going through exactly what you’re going through? What would you tell them?”

Without missing a beat, she said she’d tell them to take whatever time they needed. That the team would rally around them, pick up the slack, and make sure things were covered.

No hesitation. No qualifications. No “but what about the deadlines?”

Just compassion, understanding, and trust.

So why was it so hard to offer herself the same?

I think a lot of us can relate. We’re quick to reassure others that it’s okay to step back. That the work will get done. That their well-being matters more than their inbox.

But when it’s our turn? Suddenly, the rules change.

We tell ourselves we’re letting people down, that if we’re not giving our all, we’re somehow falling short.

And maybe the hardest part isn’t worrying about what other people will think. Maybe it’s worrying about what we’ll think of ourselves.

What if we held ourselves to the same standards of compassion and understanding that we so freely extend to others?

My client and I talked about the double standard she was holding herself to, and she made a commitment to try taking her own advice, to give herself the same grace she'd so readily offer someone else.

And you know what? It still feels uncomfortable.

She's not suddenly okay with stepping back. That little voice telling her she should be doing more hasn't magically disappeared. But she's choosing to do it anyway.

So the next time you’re struggling to give yourself permission to step back, try asking yourself:

If someone I cared about were in this exact situation, what would I tell them?

And then here’s the harder question:

What’s stopping me from taking my own advice?

With ease, Tracy

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