Dear Reader,

Earlier this year, I watched Brené Brown being interviewed, and I noticed something fascinating.

After almost every question she was asked, she paused before answering.

Not a quick, barely noticeable beat. She actually took a moment to think about what she wanted to say.

And I was in awe.

She didn't seem unsure of herself. She didn't seem like she didn't know the answer. If anything, it was the opposite.

She seemed incredibly confident.

She wasn't rushing to fill the silence. She wasn't worried that taking a few seconds to think would somehow make her look less capable.

She simply thought. And then she answered.

It made me realize how rarely we give ourselves permission to do that.

For years, and I mean YEARS, I always felt like as a leader, I had to have all the answers at my fingertips.

The more senior you are, the more quickly you’re supposed to know what you think. Right?

Blergh.

I work with a lot of really smart, accomplished leaders who put enormous pressure on themselves to respond quickly. And sometimes, in their rush to fill the silence, they end up saying more than they need to, giving an answer they haven’t fully thought through, or walking away thinking, “Ugh. That’s not actually what I meant.”

A pause can feel incredibly long when you’re the one taking it.

To everyone else? They see that you’re thinking.

And there’s a big difference between not knowing what to say and giving yourself enough time to figure out what you actually think.

Sometimes executive presence sounds like:

✅ “Give me a minute to think about that.”

✅ “That’s a good question. I want to give it some thought before I answer.”

✅ “I have an initial reaction, but let me come back to you once I’ve thought it through.”

None of those make you sound less capable.

In fact, what if the pause is actually part of the presence?

With ease, Tracy

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