The conversation you're avoiding


Dear Reader,

One of my clients needs to have an important conversation with her boss about what her future at her company looks like.

We've talked about the conversation. She's thought about the structure and what she wants to say. She knows what she needs clarity on.

There's just one problem. According to her, "It's not the right moment."

So I asked her when the right moment would be.

She looked at me for a few seconds…and started laughing.

Because she knew. There probably wasn't going to be a perfect moment. She wasn't going to wake up one morning feeling 100% ready to have the conversation.

And I think we all do some version of this.

We tell ourselves we'll have the conversation when things settle down.

When the project is over.

When our boss seems less stressed.

When we're more confident about how the other person will respond.

In other words: when it feels easier.

Sometimes waiting is the right call. Timing matters. Emotions sometimes need to settle. And there are conversations that deserve thoughtful preparation.

But there's a difference between preparing for a difficult conversation and postponing one.

And sometimes "it's not the right moment" is just another way of saying "I'm hoping this will feel less uncomfortable later."

That conversation with your employee about their performance? Still uncomfortable next month.

Asking your boss where you stand? Still vulnerable after the next big deadline passes.

Addressing the tension with your colleague? Probably not going to magically resolve itself while you wait.

And in the meantime, look at how much energy we're spending not having the conversation.

We're thinking about it.

Rehearsing it.

Talking to other people about it.

Imagining every possible way it could go.

We've given this hypothetical conversation an enormous amount of our attention, and we haven't even had it yet.

All of this is to say that the conversation doesn't become easier because we waited. It becomes easier because we had it.

Maybe it doesn't go exactly as we'd hoped. Maybe we don't get the answer we wanted. Maybe it's awkward.

But now we have information. We can stop rehearsing and start deciding what to do next.

So, what's the conversation you're waiting for the "right moment" to have? If one came to mind immediately, that's probably the one.

Are you willing to have it this week?

With ease, Tracy


Forwarded from a friend? Subscribe to With Ease Bi-Weekly Newsletter here!


I offer 1:1 coaching, group coaching, team facilitation, and public speaking, and tailor offerings to the specific needs of you/your workplace. ​Contact me to learn more​.


Is coaching right for you?

If you’re leading well on the outside but carrying too much on the inside, coaching can help. I work with leaders who want clarity, confidence, and impact, without burning themselves out to get there.

Let’s connect - book 30 minutes here.


Hi! I'm Tracy, an Executive and Leadership Coach.

Learn how to lead effortlessly by establishing boundaries, collaborting with people with different work styles, and making delegation easier, all while lowering stress and feeling confident in any role, based on my experience as both a long-time executive and a certified executive and leadership coach.

Read more from Hi! I'm Tracy, an Executive and Leadership Coach.

Dear Reader, A client said something to me this week that caught my attention. She's the kind of person who has spent her career moving fast. High standards. Big goals. Promotions that came earlier than expected. She's always looking around the corner, asking, What's next? Recently, though, work has slowed down. Not because she's underperforming. Not because opportunities have disappeared. Simply because business has its cycles. And for the first time in a long time, she isn't rushing to fill...

Dear Reader, In a recent coaching session, my client expressed this to me about a few members of her team: "I think they’re fighting for comfort instead of fighting to learn." Not because they don't value learning.Not because they aren't smart.Not because they don't understand the business case for change. Because comfort makes incredibly compelling arguments. I’ve heard one or more of these statements numerous times over my career (and in full disclosure, I’ve absolutely uttered each of them...

Dear Reader, A client said something to me this week that I hear in one form or another all the time: "I just don't want them to think I'm mean." She wasn't talking about firing someone. She wasn't talking about delivering harsh feedback. She wasn't talking about denying a promotion. She was talking about setting a perfectly reasonable expectation of one of her team members. And yet, there it was. The fear. Not of being wrong or of making a bad decision, but of disappointing someone. And this...