Dear Reader,

This week in a conversation with one of my clients, we talked about something deceptively simple:

What would it look like to just read the lines... instead of reading between them?

Specifically when it comes to written communication - Slack, Teams, email, texts.

Because here’s what happens all day long at work:

And our brain goes:

And yet none of what we interpreted was actually written in the message.

The Workplace Mind-Reading Problem

Written communication is the perfect breeding ground for projection.

There’s:

🚫 No tone

🚫 No facial expression

🚫 No pacing

🚫 No context for what else that person is juggling

So our brain unhelpfully fills in the blanks. With our fears, our insecurities, our past experiences with that one micromanaging boss in 2014.

We don’t read the message. We read the message plus our history.

And then we react to the story we created, not to the actual words.

Why This Matters for Leaders

When we constantly “read between the lines,” we end up:

➡️ Getting defensive when no one attacked us

➡️ Over-explaining when no one questioned us

➡️ Avoiding conversations because we assume the worst

➡️ Feeling stressed by problems that don’t actually exist

That’s a lot of emotional energy spent on fiction.

Meanwhile, the other person might have been typing between meetings, on their phone, distracted, and maybe most importantly - brief but not actually bothered!

Not every short message is a signal. Sometimes it’s just… a short message.

A Simple Leadership Reset

Try this filter before reacting to a written message:

Step 1: Read only what is literally there.​
👉 No tone. No subtext. No imagined facial expressions.

Step 2: Ask yourself:​
👉 What are the neutral, factual possibilities here?​
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Step 3: If you still feel activated, get data.​
👉 “Hey, just want to make sure I’m understanding. Are you looking for this by today, or sometime this week?”

Clarity beats mind-reading. Every time.

Micro-Experiment for This Week

For the next 5 workdays, notice whenever a written message gives you a reaction (tight chest, urgency, annoyance, spiral, etc.), pause and ask:

You might be surprised how often the stress is coming from the second part.

We can’t stop our brains from making meaning. But as leaders, we can get better at checking the story before we run with it.

With ease, Tracy

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I offer 1:1 coaching, group coaching, team facilitation, and public speaking, and tailor offerings to the specific needs of you/your workplace. ​Contact me to learn more​.

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