Dear Reader, In a recent coaching session, my client expressed this to me about a few members of her team: "I think they’re fighting for comfort instead of fighting to learn." Not because they don't value learning.Not because they aren't smart.Not because they don't understand the business case for change. Because comfort makes incredibly compelling arguments. I’ve heard one or more of these statements numerous times over my career (and in full disclosure, I’ve absolutely uttered each of them...
21 days ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, A client said something to me this week that I hear in one form or another all the time: "I just don't want them to think I'm mean." She wasn't talking about firing someone. She wasn't talking about delivering harsh feedback. She wasn't talking about denying a promotion. She was talking about setting a perfectly reasonable expectation of one of her team members. And yet, there it was. The fear. Not of being wrong or of making a bad decision, but of disappointing someone. And this...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, Last week was my birthday. And while I don't spend much time worrying about age, I did spend a little time talking with a friend about certain things I am apparently too old for now. Some examples: 👉 Standing for 3+ hours at a concert when there are perfectly good seats available. 👉 Tiny restaurant menus that require either reading glasses or my phone’s flashlight (usually both) 👉 Staying up until midnight and pretending I'll be fine the next day. 👉 Working all weekend because...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, A client of mine recently ran a pretty challenging trail race. Now, before you panic, don't worry: he did not inspire me to do the same. 😂 The only trails I enjoy are the ones that lead me to a concert venue, a baseball stadium, or a really good brunch spot. But his story stuck with me. He was describing the race and all the uncertainty that came with it. The weather. The terrain. The route. He had a map, but not a particularly useful one. In other words, he knew where he was...
2 months ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, A few weeks ago, I facilitated a leadership event for women working across a global tech company. Participants joined from different countries, backgrounds, and levels of leadership. We spent time talking about some of the hidden pressures women often carry, particularly in male-dominated environments. ➡️ The pressure to prove ourselves. ➡️ The pressure to get everything right. ➡️ The pressure to be ambitious, but not too ambitious. ➡️ The pressure to excel at work while also...
3 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, When I was in corporate, I confused a lot of my stress responses with being “good at leadership.” I thought being highly responsive meant I was supportive.I thought over-preparing meant I was responsible.I thought anticipating everyone’s needs meant I was strategic. In reality, a decent amount of it was just my nervous system masquerading as professionalism. Some examples: ➡️ Responding to messages immediately because I didn’t want anyone to think I was dropping the ball ➡️...
3 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, We all know this leader: The calm one. The one who stays steady in the meeting. Who doesn’t overreact. Who keeps things moving when everything else feels chaotic. Maybe I’m describing you. And on the surface, it works. People trust you. They rely on you. You’re seen as grounded, capable, in control. But behind the scenes you are holding a LOT. Managing your reactions. Filtering what you say and what you don’t say. Absorbing other people’s stress so the room doesn’t tip over. Yet...
3 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, In a recent coaching session, a client told me something simple and surprisingly powerful. She’s decided to take one day off each month. Not for errands. Not for appointments. Not to “catch up on life.” Just for her. Her goals? ✅ Better mental health ✅ A real break (not a half-break while checking email) ✅ Modeling healthy leadership for her team ✅ Building trust that things can get done in her absence ✅ Letting go of the small frustrations that quietly pile up over time And my...
4 months ago • 1 min read
Dear Reader, This week in a conversation with one of my clients, we talked about something deceptively simple: What would it look like to just read the lines... instead of reading between them? Specifically when it comes to written communication - Slack, Teams, email, texts. Because here’s what happens all day long at work: “Can you send that when you get a chance.” And our brain goes: “They’re annoyed. I’m late. They’re losing confidence in me. I'm not good enough.” And yet none of what we...
4 months ago • 2 min read